Friday, April 13, 2012

Purely Personal

My dear blogging friends,

Today's post is completely personal.  I am crying as I write it, so be forewarned.

I am an introvert and a very private person.  I have debated whether or not to write a post this week telling you what is going on with me.  But kept deciding "no". Then my dear, wonderful friend Fran sent me an email checking up on me.  (Thank you Fran!)  That made me realize, I should let you into my life.  I love Bloggyland and the many friends I have made out here!  Plus, Kristin told me that I can write about personal stuff whenever I want.  Right, Kristin?  So I am going to let you into my life and also let you know why my posts are now so rare and why there may not be any for awhile.

This past week has been my Spring break.  I had all sorts of plans including sleeping in, creating amazing teaching plans, reorganizing my classroom, cleaning my house, working in the yard ... nothing super exciting, but all things we put off.  However, on Monday my dad's heart took a turn for the worse.  Since then he has had two emergency room visits and a few nights in the hospital.  He is now home in his assisted living apartment.  (In my opinion, the hospital sent him home way too soon!)  I have spent most of this week with my dad.  It was not what I had planned, but to have this week off has been such a blessing.  Only a group of zealous teachers would understand that this meant I did not have to create sub plans or worry about details at school.  Instead, I could focus on my dad.  I have spent most of the day with him and then my sister spends the nights.

I am stunned by the sudden change in my dad.  Since Monday he has been going downhill.  He had a stroke in November and had been recovering beautifully from it.  In December, my sister and I moved him from Oregon to California so that he would be closer to us.  It has been a rich, amazing time.  Thirty years ago my dad (and mom) moved up to Oregon.  Even though I visited there at least twice a year, it is not the same as having him close by.  I feel like my dad has now become an integral part of my life.  We were always close, but now we are even closer.  That makes it even harder to watch my dad lose strength each day.  He is scheduled for an angiogram and maybe and angioplasty in the next few weeks.  But I just don't know if he will be strong enough to go through either procedure.  My dad is accepting all of this with beautiful grace.  My dad told me that when my husband died suddenly, he started praying that God would give him a year so that I wouldn't lose both my husband and my dad in the same year.  Every time I think of that I cry.  Who could ask for a sweeter father?!?  I lost my husband a year and a half ago, so God has answered my dad's prayer.  Of course, I don't want to ever lose my father!  Part of my struggle in dealing with my dad's issues is the fact that my husband always did such a great job holding my hand (and my heart) during tough times.  My sister is awesome, but it is not the same.

So, if you are still reading and are so inclined, your prayers would be most appreciated.  I do not know how to ask you to pray.  Sometimes I look at my dad and think how hard all of this is for him now and that he is ready to go to Heaven.  But really, I do want him here with me.  So pray as God leads you.

Love to all,

P.S.  I really do mean "love to all".  I cannot believe how close I feel to so many teachers that I have mostly never met!


  1. Tears....and I have prep to do. I am so sorry! Sending positive thoughts your way!!!

  2. Praying for you. Praying for strength and peace. I am so glad you shared with us. I truly think of all my blogging friends as friends and know my prayers and thoughts are with you.
    Ms. Kerri and her Krazy Kindergarten

  3. Prayers for you and your family. I, too, have recently been dealt a heavy hand. My mothers parent's passed away 10 days apart from each other. My grandmother had a stroke while visiting my grandpa in the hospital and my grandfather was 93. While it is a difficult time for you, know there are lots of people in bloggyland who are praying for you!


  4. I'm crying as I read your Dad's sweet words. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. There are many times I don't know how to pray for a situation. Thank goodness we aren't the decision makers. God is in complete control. I always find peace in that.

  5. Oh, Camille! I am sending you virtual hugs and lots of prayer.

  6. Praying for you & your Dad ~ God is in control! {hugs}

    First Grade Delight

  7. You and your family are in my prayers! I am so glad you shared this with all of us!
    The Resource(ful) Room

  8. You father seems like such a special man. Sending warm thougts and prayers to both of you.

  9. I send love and prayers for both your father and your family. Stay strong and know your cyber friends care about you.

  10. Sometimes it helps me so much just to write it out. I hope that worked for you, too!

    I'll be thinking of you both. Enjoy the time you have with your dad. I'm new to your blog and I don't know what happened with your husband, but I lost my dad when I was 11 and sudden loss really makes you appreciate what you have. As hard as it is, enjoy every moment being near your dad, and I hope his strength will come back in time for the surgeries!

    Sending some hugs!

    Luckeyfrog's Lilypad

  11. Bless your heart! I'm so sorry you're going through a difficult time right now with your dad's health. My dad has heart problems and it is always an emotional roller coaster. I will pray for you and your family. Thanks for sharing with us so we can wrap our arms around you in prayer. It sounds like your dad is a sweet man!

    Lil' Country Kindergarten

  12. Camille,
    I am so glad you let us know what is going on. My heart is breaking for you - and I will DEFINITELY pray for you and your dad. :( I don't even know what to say. I wish I could hug you. Share a bottle of wine with you. Try to make you smile. Bring you some icecream.
    Please keep us posted.
    Lots of LOVE LOVE LOVE!!!!!!
    A Teeny Tiny Teacher

  13. Camille,

    I am so sorry to hear about your Dad and cried throughout your sweet post. I am glad your reached out to your cyber friends so we could give you our support and love. I will be praying for you and your Dad. He sounds like a wonderful father and I am sure that every minute with him is a blessing. So sorry that this is how your break is being spent, but it is good that you have this time to be with him. I will pray for his strength so he can have the procedures you have mentioned. I will pray for yours as well.
    I am so glad to hear that you and your Dad are believers and know that God has a plan and loves you.

    Please let me know if I can do anything for you Camille. I know you live somewhere in N. Cal like I do. Love, Cindy

  14. Lots of love and prayers to you and your father! Prayers for strength and peace too!
    My Kindergarten Kids

  15. Sending you lots of love, prayers, and virtual hugs. God is good, all the time!
    Faithful in First

  16. Camille, I just found your blog and I really admire you for sharing this. I am also a very private person and I usually talk only about school-related things on my blog. However, after reading about your situation I thought it might help for me to share something personal with you. 19 years ago, my sisters and I planned a triple-wedding to marry our respective husbands. Wedding dresses were chosen, invitations were starting to go out, and the day before my birthday, my sister Lori died suddenly. She left a little baby girl, Alicia, who was only 2-and-a-half years old. Now, Alicia lives with me and my husband and she is in her third year of college. She is a joy and a blessing.

    Sharon Dudley, NBCT

  17. I just found your blog and I'm your newest follower. In times like this when I don't know how to pray, I always ask for strength to handle whatever happens and peace to know it was God's plan. You and your family are in my prayers.


  18. I am checking on you! I've been praying for you and your dad. I tried to find a place to email you and I can't. So, anyways, big hugs to you and know that I've been thinking of you!
    A Teeny Tiny Teacher

  19. I'm so glad you shared here. I feel like all these blogging teachers are the most kind and caring group of people I've ever met (virtually of course, but we're friends no matter). I'm thinking of you and your family and praying that you will find peace with whatever happens.
    F is For First Grade